Thursday, June 7, 2012

Dear Jude

When I was pregnant with you another secret wish I had was that you would be able to draw or at least have a love for art.   While pregnant with you, I could be found almost every night drawing in our tiny living room at the corner of our tiny couch sketching right by the lamp.  Imagine me sitting criss cross apple sauce filling out page after page of my sketchbook while you were sleeping in my huge belly.  I seriously acquainted that surge of creativity and inspiration with you.  Fast forward, from that moment, to a couple of months after you were born when I had come down with artist block.  All of those ideas were gone, I couldn't draw a single thing and every blank page I looked at was the most intimidating thing ever.  The ideas eventually came back to me and I started to sketch again, but I kind of hoped that the momentary loss was somehow connected to you.  

Now as a toddler you do have a special love for crayons, painting, markers and anything to do with paper.  But my thought process has changed, although we do color and draw together, I know that its because you are a toddler. Yes toddlers like to draw and color! It doesn't mean that you will be an artist, it means that you just like to draw.  So even though I am extremely happy that right now one of your favorite things to do is draw with mama, I keep in mind that you will like whatever you like.  If this is a phase and it does pass I will just be happy that I have so many keepsakes of a time when we did share this love.  I promised myself that I would never enforce any of my own plans, ideas or expectations onto you.  I want you to be your own person.  Yes I think its amazing that you remind me of Dada and I, but Im equally amazed that your own little personality is starting to emerge. 

You brought these drawings home a couple of days ago from daycare, including that very special Mothers Day gift you made for me.   I was a bit nervous when you started daycare last August, but when your teacher hands me a bundle of pictures like these I remember that its for the best.  Not only do you have activities every day and get to play with lots of kids your own age but you're also doing things that you love to do at home!

This is our at home sketch book, we bring it out along with your crayons and sprawl out on the floor or the bed to color together. Usually you draw and then ask me to join you; you tell me what to draw (dog, cat, duck...) then you scribble on top of it.  Dada does join us from time to time and will draw you a fish or two to color.  Another must for you at drawing time is for me to outline your hands or your feet.  I love to color with you and Im just glad you stopped eating your crayons. 

And now I am making this promise to you; I will never try to enforce any of myself onto you.  I know whatever you want to do you will be great at and whoever you become will be amazing.  In whatever you accomplish I will take pride in that you are my greatest accomplishment.  

<3 Mama Chuca

P.S. That is a very special cat we named Three-legs McGee because he has 3 legs.  He belongs to the front door neighbors but he mostly likes to sprawl out on our lawn or Mamas car. 

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